No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
