Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
