So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
