Don't you send me to vm
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
My life is pants optional.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize