Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
