I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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