The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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