My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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