Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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