it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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