Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I party with great urgency now.
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