So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
