Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
