he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
