so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
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