we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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