I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
