at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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