dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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