I want to make a zoo with you.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
