Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
either way he was missing a nipple.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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