1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
