i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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