I like my sex mixed with concussions.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
