took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
