Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
