what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
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