i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize