I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
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I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
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You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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