Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
