new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
