Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
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