There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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