Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
