if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
