Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
