Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
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