No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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