Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
