Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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