and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
