I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize