I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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