Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
