You made me cry and you don't even care
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
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