i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I think I am morally bankrupt
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize