Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
