I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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