Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
