I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
