I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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