you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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