i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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