then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Alive.
So much puke
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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