just tell him i said nine months
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
