I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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