I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
