It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
