you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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