My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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