watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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