is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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