dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Randomize