You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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